Guides
All 31 guides
Everything we have written, grouped by what you are trying to work out. If you are new, start with what swinging is and how to raise it with your partner.
Where people meet
Where to meet women
→Twelve places people actually meet women, which of them genuinely work, and the honest truth about how most couples now find each other.
Meeting women near you
→How to find people in your own area rather than a city away — what works locally, why distance matters more than people expect, and where to look.
Meeting local singles
→How to find single people in your area, what local singles events are actually like, and the realistic mix of online and offline that works.
Casual dating after forty
→What casual dating looks like after forty, where people arrange it now that the classified sites are gone, and how to do it safely and honestly.
Speed dating, honestly
→How speed dating works, what the over-40 and over-50 nights are like, and whether it is worth doing if the idea makes you cringe.
Meeting older women
→Where women over forty and fifty actually spend their time, what works when you want to meet them, and the approaches that reliably do not.
What replaced Craigslist personals
→Why the Craigslist personals section closed, what actually replaced it, and how to avoid the scams that filled the gap.
Doublelist and the alternatives
→What Doublelist is, the alternatives that actually exist, and how to use classified personals without being scammed.
Finding singles near you
→What searching for singles near you actually returns, why the numbers are misleading, and how to find people who are genuinely close.
Casual, local, and honest about it
→How casual arrangements are actually made now, what the search results are really offering, and the safety basics that matter most.
Talking to people
How to flirt
→What flirting actually consists of, why it feels harder than it used to, and the small things that make the difference at any age.
Flirting over text
→How flirting works in messages when you cannot use tone or a look, what to send, what kills a conversation, and how often to reply.
Flirting with a woman
→What women in their forties and fifties say actually works, what reliably does not, and how to signal interest without making anyone uncomfortable.
Flirting with a man
→How to signal interest to a man clearly enough that he notices, why subtlety often fails, and what women in their forties and fifties say works.
Is she interested, or just being polite?
→What genuine interest looks like, which signals are reliable and which are not, and how to tell politeness from something more.
By decade
Dating in your fifties
→What dating in your fifties is actually like, how it differs from what you remember, where people meet now, and what genuinely works.
Dating in your forties
→What dating in your forties involves, how it differs from your twenties and from your fifties, and the practical issues that come up most.
Dating in your sixties
→What dating in your sixties and beyond is actually like, where people meet at this age, and the practical questions that come up.
Finding mature singles near you
→How to find single people in their fifties, sixties and beyond in your own area — which platforms carry them and what works offline.
Dating women over 60
→What dating women in their sixties and beyond is actually like, where to meet them, and a word about the terms people search for.
Starting again
Dating after a divorce
→When to start dating after a divorce, what the first few months are actually like, and how to handle children, ex-partners and your own confidence.
Dating after losing a partner
→Dating as a widow or widower — when people describe feeling ready, how to handle guilt and family reactions, and what to expect.
Your first date in twenty years
→What a first date is like when your last one was decades ago — what has changed, what has not, and how to get through the first twenty minutes.
Online dating
Online dating when you have never done it
→How online dating actually works if you have never used it — what to expect, what the response rates are really like, and how to avoid the common frustrations.
Writing a profile that gets replies
→What to put in a dating profile, which photographs actually work, and the mistakes that cause most profiles to be scrolled past.
Which dating site should you use?
→How the different kinds of dating platform actually differ, which suits which situation, and what to check before you pay for anything.
Apps in your forties
→How dating apps differ from dating sites, what to expect in your forties, and how to pick one without wasting money.
Writing your profile
→What to write in a dating profile, with real examples for men and women over forty, and the lines that make people scroll past.
Photographs for your profile
→Which photographs get replies, how many to use, what to avoid, and how to take good ones yourself without a photographer.
The first message
→What to say in a first message online, why most get no reply, and examples that work better than hello.