Online dating
Photographs for your profile
The single largest factor in whether anyone writes to you, and the one most people get wrong in the same four ways.
Before anyone reads a word you have written, they have made a decision based on your pictures. That is not shallow — it is the only information available — and it means an afternoon spent on photographs is worth more than a week spent on wording.
What you need
- A clear head-and-shoulders shot. Face visible, good light, looking at the camera. This is the one that does most of the work.
- One full-length. Its absence is noticed and assumptions are made. Better to include it.
- One doing something you actually do. Walking, cooking, on a boat, at an allotment. It gives someone an opening.
- One with other people — but where it is obvious which one is you.
- One that is simply nice and does not need explaining.
Four or five in total. More than six and people stop looking; fewer than three reads as either low effort or something concealed.
The four common mistakes
| Mistake | Why it costs you |
|---|---|
| Photographs from a decade ago | The most damaging one. You will meet eventually and the gap is the first thing noticed. It also signals you are unhappy with how you look now. |
| Sunglasses in every picture | The commonest single complaint people make about profiles. Eyes carry most of the warmth. |
| Group shots only | Nobody knows which one you are, and most people will not work it out. |
| An obvious crop | A stray arm or half a face left in tells a whole story about a previous relationship. |
Two more worth avoiding: bathroom mirrors and car selfies. Both are extremely common and both read as no effort.
Taking good ones yourself
You do not need a photographer, despite an entire industry suggesting otherwise. What you need is daylight and someone to press the button.
- Outside, an hour or two before sunset. Overhead midday sun is the least flattering light there is. Overcast days are excellent.
- Face the light, do not have it behind you.
- Camera at eye level or slightly above. Held low is unflattering to everyone.
- Take fifty and keep three. Professionals shoot hundreds. The good one is a numbers exercise.
- Get someone else to take them. An arm's length changes your face; a photograph from two metres does not.
- Wear something you already know suits you. Not the outfit you are unsure about.
Smiling
Worth saying because so many profiles have none. A genuine smile in at least one photograph makes a measurable difference to how approachable you look, and the way to get one is to have whoever is taking it make you laugh rather than counting to three.
What is in the background
Two reasons to check. It affects how the picture reads — a cluttered kitchen distracts — and it affects your privacy.
Look for house numbers, recognisable views, post on a table, work lanyards, and anything identifying children. Backgrounds identify people more often than faces do. More in our safety guide.
The honest test: would you be pleased to run into this person if the photograph were accurate? If your pictures are ten years old, the answer for the other person is no, and that conversation happens in a café rather than online.
Common questions
How many photos should a dating profile have?
Four or five. Fewer than three reads as low effort or concealment; more than six and people stop looking.
What makes a good dating profile picture?
Daylight, face clearly visible, camera at eye level, taken by someone else from a couple of metres away. An hour before sunset or an overcast day beats midday sun.
Do I need a professional photographer?
No. Daylight, someone to press the button, and taking fifty to keep three will get you there. The industry exists because people do not know the basics, not because the basics are hard.
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Last updated: July 2026